MORE THAN A FRIEND

Be there for me when I need you. Listen to me when I have something to say. Laugh with me when I’m happy. Cry with me I’m sad. Encourage me when I’m at my lowest, when I need that ‘vim’. Don’t get mad when I tease you, tease me same way when you get that chance too. Hate my enemies, those who treat me bad. Love my lovers, those who replace you romantically and sexually. Understand me when I’m acting up, same way you understand my crazy little self. Don’t get mad at me for too long because of a temporal ‘mentally unstable’ me. Just love or like me same way I do to you. All I want for you is to understand I’m human like you. Just that I am more emotional, I cannot hide my feelings like you. Maybe you are mentally matured and easily handle emotional stuff. I’m adjusting too, with your help. It is no problem to mould me into someone you think will easily adjust to this cold world like you. Never be afraid to criticize me, I need that more to survive and be better.

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One day, we going to laugh at that time I over reacted like a teenager over trivial issues. You’ll tease me on how I so wanted to get rid of you even though it was obvious I needed you. You are going to scold me on that silly decision I took without you. We’ll celebrate our achievements and encourage others too. We will know how far we have come in this friendship and I will gladly tell the world that you are my soulmate, a soulmate who is clearly more important than my spouse, family or friends because you have always been there for me from the first day we met. Even when we stopped talking, your prayers and concern for me from far kept me.
I appreciate you, I like you, I love you and I will never ever forget how lucky I am because I met someone like you, my soulmate. Relationship partners come and go, friends come and go, most family members are not consistent but my soulmate is always there for me when needed.

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‘Having a soulmate is not always about love. You can find your soulmate in friendship too’ – Anonymous.

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EveryDay, AnyDay, All Day with BeeBee:MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY

So what does making yourself happy mean to you? Hanging out with friends, taking yourself out to places you feel like, eating food you feel for, dressing up and taking pictures afterwards, watching movies and series, buying stuff you really need without it affecting your pocket, reading books, travelling around, enjoying social media without thinking about your data, etc. Don’t judge my description, I know mine sounds way better than yours.
So why does this ‘make yourself happy’ bores me most of the time. Imagine being broke most of the time. Imagine being an introvert. Imagine having friends who don’t have time for your broke self. Imagine having no active life at your youthful stage. How am I supposed to make myself happy? Don’t come at me with the ‘happiness comes from within’ story. No one has struggled with making oneself happy in the last 2 years more than me. Been on and off jobs all in the name of making myself happy. I have tried random activities as hobbies such as DIY home stuff, blogging, designing, yoga and so many business ideas. Trust me, no one discovers new passion or talents pass an unemployed youth. My close friends know this, they always laugh when I go like ‘hey, so I have this new thing I am interested in’ every new month.
After all these experiences, I am almost depressed like 3-4 times in a week. I really try to find that happiness within me but I am still not a happy human being. Same depressed girl refuses to go out, refuses to meet new people, refuses to join any active group or church activity, refuses to stay away from people who do not appreciate me, refuses to travel and have a feel of new environment. I virtually repeat same lifestyle which keeps me depressed all the time.
So ask me, ‘what do I really want’? I want realness, like happiness can be in others (Not everyday happiness is in your type of story). Scooby Doo was genuinely happy when Shaggy was around. Spongebob still loved Patrick with all his dumbness. Tom would be depressed without any Jerry to torment, same with Sylvester and Tweety. Even with the most menial of activities, Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny’s natural chemistry allowed them to bring out hilarity always.
All I’m trying to say is, it’s not a bad thing to find happiness outside your internal organs or structures. It is not bad to find happiness from someone else, even cartoon characters do. So do not listen to people with that ‘hey, you’re too soft, too emotional, this or that person is not worth your happiness’. After all, we all need someone. That person giving you fake counselling would later find happiness in a dog or some ‘Game of Thrones’ character. Feel free, love yourself, love others, find happiness anywhere or in anything, no one knows you more than you so do what makes you happy.
Oh! And guess what, I think this makes me happy. Sharing my thoughts with an amazing reader like yourself. Thank you.

For Wendy, My Bestfriend


​EVERYDAY, ALL DAY, ANYDAY with BeeBee; Obiara Borga B3ba.

Happy one month anniversary to my bestie, Wendy and her hubby Liam who got married in May. I got inspired by Wendy’s quest for true love to write this article. So to you bestie, happy birthday and may this new journey be wonderful and blessed every single day.

Wendy is a beautiful girl with a beautiful heart. I have known her since high school and this girl goes out of her way to make people around her happy before herself. She is always available when you need help, cries with you when you sad and genuinely happy for you when you are happy. Mehn! She’s the definition of SELFLESS. Even after a month in marriage, she is still a great friend. Keep it up girl.

So per her dedication to friends, you will think she will have an almost perfect relationship. Unfortunately, she had the opposite. This is a girl who has gone through several heartbreaks and with every experience; I witnessed how it tore her apart. She never cheated, she never disrespected, she never stayed out late. Infact, she was a good girlfriend. She did virtually everything right in these relationships. And what was their excuse for leaving her for another; ‘Wendy, you deserve better’.

I have seen how these bad experiences broke my friend down. How she got drunk, how she became ‘unbothered’ about her life, how she became rude and even she tried to hurt herself. Yup! It wasn’t easy. People close to her got fed up. Why? This wasn’t the Wendy we knew. It hurt us to see how an angel like her got heart broken all the time. Maybe she dated demons that couldn’t stand her angelic personality, LOL!

Her  first heartbreak was very bad. GOSH! I had never seen real life heartbreak before so I was devastated. She broke down as usual after the second heartbreak but not as long as the first. She called me one day and was like; Bee, lets get a blood tonic, I want to grow fat. I want to eat and cry at the same time. Also, let’s start watching beauty tips on YouTube and look better. Lord, my friend was going crazy but she wasn’t, it was fun. I was going through heartbreak at that time and I totally glowed up. We gained weight, got a better fashion sense and started our lovely girls out with Christine, our other bestie. If your knew us in final year of college, you will understand what I am saying better.

What I totally loved about my bestie was the fact that she always believed in love, TRUE LOVE! After all the heartbreaks, she still had faith in love. She used to talk about how we will all get that guy who will love us, dedicate a love song for us, show us off and choose us over other girls. Through all her heartbreaks and terrible experience, Wendy was still confident she will meet her zing (from the animation, Hotel Translyvania which means the love of your life or the one you are meant to be with). And she did. When? After she began her self-love and appreciation.  After she stopped crying and glowed up. How? She started doing things she loved. She spoilt herself with clothes, make up, watched movies, enjoyed spending time with her mother and started her fashion blog, theglossychic (you can check it out). She stopped looking for love. She concentrated on herself and with a big bang, Liam came along. (‘Ni borga aba’). She just had to wait and love herself. Liam is the guy Wendy used to describe as her dream man. She just had to go off the past and all the unnecessary crying and pity, the regrets and ‘what ifs’. Now she is the happiest girl on earth because she got the ultimate price. She got married to her zing, Liam.

Wendy and Liam.

So girl, let go. Love yourself. Stop looking for love. Stop reducing your standards. Your ‘borga’ will come. He will love and cherish you. He will treat you like the queen you want to be. Just be patient, glow up, live your life without regrets, stop pleasing people, be happy, meet new people, be nice, drink lots of water, eat more fruits and vegetables, slay and pray everyday na woso WO BORGA B3BA. 

  • PS: Wo Borga B3ba is a Ghanaian phrase which means your well-to-do relative or close friend will come back from overseas or literally means the love of your life will definitely come.

Finally Here

Hello guys, I’m BeeBee and I got my wordpress account yesterday. I just discovered this year that I like writing. I’ve got so much on my mind and I can’t wait to share with you guys :):):)